Authors:

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Ray Romano Quotes about Funny

All Ray Romano Quotes Character Children Comedy Feelings Film Funny quotes Golf Home House Sleep Wife

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Funny, Fathers Day, Children

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

Funny, Children, Sleep

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

Funny, Marriage, Dream

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

Funny, Marriage, Kings

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Funny, Baby, Children

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

Funny, Baby, Sex

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

Funny, Baby, Children

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

If a guy's ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying to you, but for lying to himself. As a matter of fact, stop him right in the middle of the story and just hug him. Nine times out of ten he'll just break down and cry. He knows you know.

Funny, Sex, Sorry

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

Funny, God, Pain

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

Funny, Baby, Children

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”, Bantam

You May Also Like: