Ray Romano Quotes about Children

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Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Funny, Fathers Day, Children

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

Ray Romano

Funny, Children, Sleep

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Ray Romano

Funny, Baby, Children

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

Ray Romano

Children, Attention, Theory

Ray Romano (1999). “Everything and a Kite”

Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three months. We don't plan it that way. That's just how it works out. It's the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it's oral sex, I renew my driver's license.

Ray Romano

Sex, Children, Next Day