We change people, but oftentimes we get so focused on the negative people and their influence on us, we forget how powerful we are as positive people to influence others.
Too often we forget how powerful we are as individuals to shape how other people see the world. Each one of us constantly broadcasts to other people - whether consciously or unconsciously - verbally or non-verbally - and those messages influence their brain.
People will often say "You can't change other people." My research shows this societal belief is not only dis-empowering, it is scientifically false.
Change your story, change your power.
When someone comes to you to talk about a problem, if you move the conversation on to a discussion of potential solutions, you fuel their creative problem solving abilities on average by 20% - not to mention you make them feel better! You make them smarter and more empowered to tackle challenges.
Instead of running from the negative, I've started running towards the positive.
There is no greater prediction in the research of our levels of happiness than the breadth and depth of our relationships.
We are all constantly transmitting information to the people around us, and the messages we choose to communicate either create success or hold us all hold back.
Even five minute meaningful conversations with other people not only fuel us in the moment but also build up a reserve of social capital so that when hard times strike, we can draw down on that bank account.
Being in touch with the problems in the world or our lives is important, but even more important is to focus the brain on what we can do about them.
Too quickly, venting can turn into dumping garbage on the people around us.
People are pulled towards the best in themselves, and spotlighting the right is a much stronger approach than nagging.
Fun can be a great motivator.
Social comparison that leads to unhappiness is the downside of social media.
There is a compelling case showing us that we actually change people all the time. And when we fully realize this, we start to see how powerful we are to get others unstuck, see that their behavior matters, and start taking steps to create happiness and success in their lives.
With technology and over-scheduling, we are forgetting to invest time in simple connective moments with others.
Know that positive change is possible. It might not happen right away, but if you change your broadcast to them, that can have an effect on how they view the world.
Following celebrities or people you don't regularly see in person often doesn't add to our happiness. The best use of social media is to deepen existing close relationships or create new ones.
I recently wanted to exercise more, and instead of trying to remind myself about all the health benefits and designing an effective (but boring) workout routine, I thought of the moments in my life when getting a workout has been the most fun.
We are ALL broadcasters.
I try to only vent when I really need to process something, and let the rest go.
Surfing the web often comes at the cost of face-to-face time with friends and family.
If you want a particular behavior from someone else, try spotlighting those times when he or she is already doing it.
Starting our day off with a dose of negativity can have lasting effects.
My big "double-aha" moment came while anchoring the national news at CBS News. It was at the height of the recession, and on top of the usual negative stories, my newscasts became full of especially heart wrenching stories of people losing their homes, jobs, and retirement savings. Starting the morning off like that could leave even the most optimistic person feeling helpless and hopeless. The lightning bolt came when we changed how we talked about the negative.
