Scotch Quotes - Page 2

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.

If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.

If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.

We could say that people who eat grits, listen to country music, follow stock-car racing, support corporal punishment in the schools, hunt 'possum, go to Baptist churches and prefer bourbon to Scotch are likely to be Southerners.

There is no such thing as a bad whisky. Some whiskies just happen to be better than others.

One good thing about rain in Scotland. Most of it ends up as scotch.

Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it's time to drink.

My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.

I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.

Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?

Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a slippery slope. Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

I like my whisky old and my women young.

The best blended Scotch in the history of the world - which was also the favourite drink of the Iraqi Baath Party, as it still is of the Palestinian Authority and the Libyan dictatorship and large branches of the Saudi Arabian royal family - is Johnnie Walker Black. Breakfast of champions, accept no substitute.

I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.

The Irish are hearty, the Scotch plausible, the French polite, the Germans good-natured, the Italians courtly, the Spaniards reserved and decorous - the English alone seem to exist in taking and giving offense.

Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.

The Yankee: In acuteness and perseverance, he resembles the Scotch. In frugal neatness, he resembles the Dutch. But in truth, a Yankee is nothing else on earth but himself.

An appreciation of prose is learned, not instinctive. It is an acquired taste, like Scotch whisky.

If I were not French I would choose to be - Scotch.

The Scotch catechism says that man's chief end is 'to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.' But we shall then know that these are the same thing. Fully to enjoy is to glorify. In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him.