Steve Martin Quotes - Page 5

I don't think anyone is ever writing so that you can throw it away. You're always writing it to be something. Later, you decide whether it'll ever see the light of day. But at the moment of its writing, it's always meant to be something. So, to me, there's no practicing; there's only editing and publishing or not publishing.

...the divided world of Aspen, where locals with a sense of entitlement were pitted against developers with a sense of condominiums.

I don't really manage my time. I really just wait until I'm inspired to do something. And when I'm inspired to do something, it just happens.

When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Acting keeps me alert to people, and life. I don't know, there's something about going to work early in the morning, and having to stay alert and concentrated. Maybe that keeps your mind alive.

I can't smell moth balls, I find it too difficult to get their tiny legs apart

She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.

I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

I was not naturally talented. I didn't sing, dance or act, though working around that minor detail made me inventive.

The Apple Pie Hubbub was a significant novel for me, because that's when I first started using verbs.

When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.

Being on Twitter is like having a fern.

Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.

What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do.

I don't think comic timing is the same as music timing, but I definitely find that I've learned from just writing in general that songs can be narrative without having a story.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.

I have no fear, no fear at all. I wake up, and I have no fear. I go to bed without fear. Fear, fear, fear, fear. Yes, 'fear' is a word that is not in my vocabulary.

Nothing I do is done by popular demand.

I always think back to my high school days and realize all the people who were so popular then are nowhere now and all the people who were steadfast and steady-going are somewhere. So high school doesn't necessarily translate to later in life.

They want me on the television shows now because I did so well on Celebrity Assholes.