Kinky Friedman Quotes - Page 3

I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

I came from an upper-middle class home, which is always a hard cross for a country singer to bear.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

Always respect your superiors, if you have any.

You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.

The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump has done.

I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

There is a difference between who is important and who is significant.

My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.

If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am.

Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own.

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

The child-teacher relationship is crucial.

I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.

We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.